Top 10 H.L. Mencken quotes brought to you by the sarcasmist

10. Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.

9. A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

8. An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

7. Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

6. For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

5. I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.

4. I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

3. Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

2. If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

1. We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Courtesy of the people over at the sarcasm society who'd just love to hear what you have to say.

10 Signs That You Might Be An Idiot

1. You type ‘there’ when you mean ‘their’.
2. You press the already lit elevator button.
3. You get two pizzas, both half cheese and half pepperoni.
4. You get confused by the Starbucks cup sizes.
5. You think that cats are smart because they are aloof.
6. You are a self-professed vegetarian who eats fish.
7. You have a nervous breakdown when asked to not use the word ‘like’ so often.
8. You send out your resume on cute stationery.
9. You think you are saving money by buying things you don’t need during a sale.
10. You blame all your failures on anyone but yourself.

Brought to you by the kind folks over at the sarcasm society who'd just love to hear what you think about them